The Invisible Chains We Carry
Breaking Free From Unhealed Childhood Trauma
Trauma isn’t just an event. It’s the echo of pain that lingers in our bones, shaping how we see ourselves, how we love, how we trust and how we fight for our dreams. The wounds of childhood don’t just fade away; they manifest in our relationships, our careers and our self-worth.
But here’s the truth: You are not your trauma. You are not the sum of what happened to you. You are the creator of your destiny. Today, we’re going to unmask those silent patterns, break free from the cycles that no longer serve us and step into the power that has always been yours.
Recognising the Signs
If you’ve ever found yourself in a loop of toxic relationships, chronic self-doubt, or an endless need to prove your worth, know this—you are not alone. Many of us were never given the tools to heal. But awareness is the first step to transformation.
Here’s how unhealed childhood trauma manifests:
Trying to Fix Others: Feeling responsible for everyone else’s problems before your own.
People-Pleasing: Saying “yes” when you want to say “no.”
Co-dependency: Losing yourself in relationships, friendships, or work.
External Validation Needed: Seeking approval to feel worthy.
Living on High Alert: Struggling to relax, always preparing for the worst.
Fear of Abandonment: Holding on too tight, or pushing people away first.
De-Prioritising Your Own Needs: Feeling selfish for prioritising self-care.
The Need to Prove Yourself: Overachieving but never feeling “good enough.”
Tolerating Abusive Behaviour: Normalising disrespect or mistreatment.
Attracting Narcissists: Finding yourself in relationships with manipulative people.
Difficulty Setting Boundaries: Feeling guilty for saying “no.”
These patterns aren’t just habits; they are survival mechanisms. And they can be rewritten.
Recent breakthroughs in neuroscience reveal that our brains are not fixed entities but incredibly adaptable, thanks to neuroplasticity. When we repeatedly engage in a pattern—whether it’s people-pleasing or tolerating toxic behaviour—our brain strengthens those neural pathways, making them our default responses. However, just as trauma rewires the brain in ways that foster survival, intentional healing can rewire the brain to foster thriving.
Studies on PTSD and trauma recovery, such as those led by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score), highlight that healing occurs when we engage in practices that rewire our nervous system—through mindfulness, cognitive reframing, somatic work, and boundary-setting. Case studies from trauma survivors show that when individuals become conscious of these patterns and take action to change them, they experience significant shifts in their relationships, careers and overall well-being. Understanding this evolution in trauma recovery is crucial, especially as we begin to challenge ourselves with the following questions and exercises designed to unlock the next stage of healing.
The Breakthrough: Transforming Pain into Power
Healing is not about erasing the past. It’s about reclaiming the future. It’s time to go deep, to uproot the beliefs that no longer serve you and to take radical ownership of your life.
Here are four transformational exercises to help you shift from survival to empowerment:
1. The Power of Pattern Recognition: "The Mirror Exercise"
Objective: Identify the core belief that’s been holding you back.
Grab a journal and write down your biggest recurring struggle (relationships, confidence, money, etc.).
Now, ask yourself: Where did I first learn this pattern?
Close your eyes and visualise the first time you felt this way. Who was involved? What was said?
Recognising the root is the first step to breaking free.
Affirmation: “I am not my past. I choose new patterns that serve my highest self.”
2. The Body Breakthrough: "State Change"
Objective: Interrupt old emotional patterns through movement.
When we experience trauma, it embeds itself in our nervous system. One of the quickest ways to break free is by changing your physical state.
Stand up, shake your body, jump, dance—disrupt your energy.
Yell (yes, out loud!): "I am powerful! I am worthy! I am unstoppable!"
Breathe deeply, inhaling confidence, exhaling fear.
Feel the shift. Your energy is your choice.
3. The Rewrite: "Reclaiming Your Inner Child"
Objective: Rewire old beliefs with new, empowering ones.
Close your eyes and visualise yourself as a child.
Imagine stepping into the scene where you first felt unworthy, afraid, or unseen.
Now, as your powerful, present self, what would you tell that child?
Whisper those words. Hold their hand. Reassure them.
Rewrite the story: You were always enough.
Affirmation: “I release the past and choose self-love.”
4. Boundaries
Objective: Strengthen your boundaries in real-time.
For the next 24 hours, say “NO” to anything that drains you.
Start small: Say no to that extra task, that energy-draining conversation, that self-doubt.
Notice how it feels. If guilt comes up, remind yourself: My needs matter too.
Keep practicing. Boundaries are a muscle—you get stronger every time you use them.
It’s Time to Step Into Your Power
Healing isn’t passive—it’s a decision. A commitment. A revolution.
Your brain has the capacity to create new neural pathways, forming habits that lead to confidence, peace and empowerment. Neuroscientists have found that even small daily changes—like shifting your self-talk, practicing mindfulness, or setting boundaries—create long-term transformations. The more you choose new responses, the stronger those pathways become, reinforcing positive change at a biological level.
If you’re ready to break free from the patterns that no longer serve you, start today. Commit to just one of these exercises. Give yourself permission to step into the fullest, boldest, most unstoppable version of YOU.
Your future self is watching. And she is proud.
You are powerful. You are worthy. And you are more than your past.
Let’s rise together!
Comment below or share your breakthrough moment. What’s ONE thing you’re letting go of today?
