"I Got 99 Problems and You Ain’t One!"
So your ex had the audacity, the nerve and the lack of sense to text you,
“Baby I’m in jail.”
And now they want you to save them like you’re a whole SWAT team and a public defender in one. Well baby, in the words of Madea…….
“I don’t do jail. I do Jesus… and even He got boundaries!”
So what’s your response, SistaTalk fam?
We asked Madea for her top 3-word clapback’s and she said “Let me get comfortable!”
Here are 20 Madea-style replies that’ll have you hollering, healing and remembering why you don’t go back to what broke you.
1. Bless yo heart
2. Who this be?
3. Better call Tyrone
4. Jail suits you
5. I ain’t surprised
6. Girl, not again
7. Bail yourself out
8. God got you
9. Send a postcard
10. Jesus take him
11. Cellmates need love
12. You still toxic
13. Free? Stay gone
14. That’s a you-problem
15. Try Jesus, fool
16. I’m at brunch
17. Wrong number, sir
18. Orange suits you
19. Locked up? Good.
20. Ask your mama
Add your own three-word comeback below—we all need that moment to laugh, reflect and reclaim our energy. Tag a friend who would appreciate a good laugh or a gentle reminder not to take foolishness seriously. And most importantly, never forget, your peace is sacred. Protect it at all costs.
Whether it’s with boundaries, humour, or silence, choose what honours your healing and your growth.
And remember, “Let the past stay in jail, baby. That’s where it belong!”
